Last day of 2012

GUYSSSS

It's the last day of 2012!

Grab someone you love and go countdown so you can enjoy the last second of 2012 as well as the first second of 2013 together!!! <3

What a year it has been... New beginning of JC life, making new friends, losing friends, making a shitload of mistakes, forgiving people, forgiving yourself, hating, loving, laughing, crying, smiling... and most of all, growing up :)

It's always essential to learn from the mistakes you make, or from the mistakes other people make. Every mistake is a painful process to go through, but you grow stronger and smarter every time! And that is what's important. I believe there is always a beauuuuutiful rainbow after a thunderstorm!

Next year will mark another milestone in my life, which is... A LEVELS!

Honestly, I'm feeling more than a little intimidated, but i shall just stay strong and believe that everything will be alright. Of course, believing is not enough, i will work hard to get to where i wanna be! JIAYOU EVERYBARDY. :))

Anyway, in the new year i hope to become a better person, living each day better than the previous.

No more hate.
No more regrets.
No more excuses.

Just love and laughter.
Smiles and joy.
Giving it all you've got.

To my boy: 

It has been a wonderful year - full of ups and downs, but nonetheless wonderful - with you! Thank you for everything, and the love you have showered me. There are times i really think i don't deserve you but i'm still very grateful for you! Love you <3

To Mummy: 

I don't know if you'll ever see this but thank you Mummy for always being there for me. I know i might have taken things for granted but still wanna thank you for always listening (when i finally speak up) and providing sound advice for your immature daughter. Love you a lot :) <3

To JX:

Although we have drifted apart this year because we don't go to tuition anymore, I'm glad we still have something in common that keeps us together - photography!!! Hehe glad to have you this photohunt buddy! Snapping pictures of animals, chasing after birds and ducks and all. Hahaha hope we have more opportunities to go snapping soon!!! :) Love you <3

To emzzz:

This year has been hard for all of us 'cause we all went to different JCs and started to have a whole new group of friends! And you're also leaving soon... I'm really going to miss you! We don't talk much but i know you're always there for me! In case you don't know, I'm always here for you tooooooo! Don't hesitate to come talk to me when you need a listening ear ok? Love yaaaa <3

To diudiu :3

diudiu! Thank you for being crazyyyy with me all the time and i don't think i have ever been awkward with you before at all!!! :D Although we went to different schools, but still feels as close when we meet uppp! Stay cute ah diuz! Love yaaaa <3

To dingz:

The only one of the girls who is in the same JC as meeee! It's amazing how we can be so pissed at each other for a certain period of time or be like super close for another period of time haha! But anyway, thank you for everything - listening to me, giving me advice, talking to me nonstop on bus ride(s). People used to say we look alike (in pictures) hahaha but i hope we will start looking like ourselves soon (i know you do too haha). Let's not be pissed at each other in the year to come. Love yaaa <3

This is 12S62! The most awesome class everrrr! Made JC life sooo much more bearable. Had loads of fun and laughter with them. Cannot ask for a better class than this :')

To my PW mates:

Thank you for this wonderful PW journey together, although we can hardly stand each other most of the at times, we still pulled through!!! Thanks so much for tolerating me for so long (like you had a choice) HAHA. 

To the girls Sam, Rena and Antheaaaa:

Although you will probably never see this, still wanna thank you girls for being there for me when i need it in school, you girls have made this year much more bearable than it would have been! So thankful to have met you girlssss :)

To the clique:

I really enjoyed the times i spent with you guys just talking about random things and having fun! I'm sorry we had to turn out this way and i do miss you guys! You guys were the reason i felt like JC life was awesome. Thanks for everything :)

These are the girls who makes dance training much more bearable and happy for me! Although we only met for a short while and we don't talk that much outside of dance, i do hope we can become closer and become great friendssss :) it has been great meeting you guyssss :D

There's just so much to be thankful about it never enddssss :')



It's going to be a great great year ahead :)

Have yourself a merry little christmas~

HEY GUYS. It's been toooooo long!

Finally decided to come back to blogging after the long hiatus. Been wanting to blog since a week ago but it has been busy busy due to Christmas - all the gatherings and catching up with friends. It has been goooood :) But I've put on some weight...

Anyway, i have been MIA due to a down down phase in my life. Honestly, i would do anything to erase that phase from my life but i guess it made me grow stronger and it revealed to me who are the ones who truly care and who are the ones who are just plain curious. I call them selfish freaks. They want to make you tell them your stuff just to know that they are important enough. They don't really care, they just want some form of self assurance. Just eff off from my life please thanks.

I've been away to Hong Kong during this period and will probably be doing a post soon about it! (if I'm not too lazy haha!) It was a good escape from this place, which i feel like i have been trapped in for too long, making me sicker and sicker... But anyway, it was a good getaway! Singapore is just too stressful and pragmatic sometimes -sigh-

Every time i start thinking about how the year is ending soon, i feel horrified... It feels like I've just entered JC, and then *poof!* I'm going to become JC2 and tackle the As already... OMG WE'RE ALL GOING TO BECOME MUGGING ROBOTS. -inserts high pitched horror scream-

ANYWAY, my family, being a non-Christian family, has never been one to celebrate Christmas - like with the presents, cards, christmas tree and dinner and all. Kind of envious of all those families with like big family celebrations and then there will be relatives giving presents and eating good food and everything... Kind of like Chinese New Year, but instead of angbaos it's presents. I mean, who doesn't like presents right??? Especially those kind which you receive from people who actually put in the effort to remember what you like or want. Haven't received such a present in a longggg time... Maybe 'cause i haven't given one in a long time too... HMM

Well, school is starting in like a week or so and... I have barely started on revision for my re-paper. OH GOSH. I WILL START SOON. I WILL


Okay guys! Ending off this post with a cute video! Merry Christmas everybardy!!! :D

A series of unfortunate events...

20th post.

This week was indeed eventful... Series of unfortunate events, maybe?

Monday wasn't anything much i guess?

Tuesday was the day of extraction of teeth.

Boy, was i scared. As i waited silently with suspense, the time seemed to drag on forever... The usually quickly changing queue numbers seemed to jump so slowly and i was quivering inside.

So when it finally reached my turn, i held my breath slightly and walked toward my dentist's room - room 7. He told me he would be inserting some form of rubberband between my molars - the colour is quite cool though, light blue and small in size. However cute it looks, it is the freakin devil man!!!! At first i could still rub it tgt and create this cute squeaky noise, but by the time night fell, it ached so badly till i couldn't sleep until i popped two paracetamol pills... Gosh...

Anyway, back to the story. After squeezing them between my teeth, the doctor settled some admin matters and then made me go outside to wait again, for the appointment with the dental surgeon (??). She was rather gentle, and i requested for the numbing gel so the injection would not hurt so much. It did relieve the pierce, but... it still did hurt so :( ESPECIALLY THE TOP JAB. It was quite bearable though, not those that forces tears from your eyes.

Then, she "rock and rolled" my tooth for a while - my head was following her rocking and rolling motion LOL - before pulling the entire tooth with the root out!!!! But luckily i didn't feel anything much (for the bottom tooth). Moving on to the top tooth, she rocked and rolled again, but this time i felt a little pain!!! So i told her and she added another jab. and then another one... Luckily all went well after that, other than a little 'crack', which is supposedly the enamel, so phew.

It was rather painless, the whole process, but after the anesthetic wore off, it definitely hurt...

The hole looked very intimidating and scary, and that night when i ate porridge, the food got stuck in the hole, damn it. Scared the hell out of me. Luckily i removed it before any decomposition can happen.

For the next few days, my daily menu revolved around yoghurt, mashed potatoes and porridge. Eek, kind of sick of it already, dang.

This tuesday, another two teeth again, haish.

PAIN IS TEMPORARY, BEL.
HANG ON.


The next few days just get worse and worse... Firstly, the pain is affecting my concentration in school. Secondly, not the best week with noone around to care. Thirdly, too many emotions crowding everybody.

Well, it's all going to be over soon though. I really do hope we can go back to those days like a few months back. :) You guys are what made me feel like JC life is really much more bearable, until a while back...

We will pull through and emerge stronger, closer.

Maybe no one would believe, but i actually do hope we can become good friends, or even, best friends for life.

Outlooks?

One of the pictures I took at the Singapore Botanic Gardens - mini orange pumpkin-like fruit.

19th post.

Hey bitches.

Good news!!! For me, at least (hehe) - I'M GONNA GET BRACES!!! In like, what, three weeks' time? :D Next week is going to be extraction of two teeth, the following week another two teeth, and the third week from now will be braces day!!!

So... About the extraction, I'm pretty intimidated by it. I've never been a person tolerable of pain, so when it comes to things like injuries, injections, etc, i really REALLY want it to be painless, or I'd rather give it a pass. But the braces thing actually mean a lot to me, cause i don't really like my teeth now and it gives me trouble when I'm eating, which doesn't give me the full happiness of enjoying ma food :(

Anyway, today's appointment was mould-taking, X-rays and photographing my teeth to (probably) document the progress. I asked the doctor if it would be painful and... he said i could highlight to the surgeon that i don't want to feel painful at all, so hopefully it will work and i can work with the numbing paste before the injection (ugh, the word makes me feel all tingly inside).

Well, i will be taking pictures of my teeth throughout the whole treatment (suggested by a friend currently undergoing treatment) and at the end i guess i will upload all at one shot as a video or gif? It would be nice to see it 2 years later :)

Gosh, talking about it is getting me all hyped up about it hehe. I will sure show you guys pictures of me and my braces when i have them!!! If anybody reads at all (haha), that is. Even if not, i can always refer to this as a teenage diary that i can look back, read and smile at :)

Anyway, a week will go by real quickly so i will update soon!

Meanwhile, if there are any important things i will put it up here too!

Maybe we've all grown up, but have we grown apart?

Revelation.

18th post.

So... the results for the last subject has been revealed. And... it really ranks last on my list. Makes me feel so, so disappointed in myself.

Why couldn't have i done better? Why am i worse than others? Why am i worse than what I've been before? WHY????

Well, this means Miss Belinda Koh here is going for remedial class with Miss Lee! Must really put in much more effort now to improve this subject, grr. As much as i don't really like it, i must get better!!! GP is an important subject, i know. But i think I'm too used to writing narratives that my GP essays tend to get very descriptive, hmm...

Well, I'm sure Miss Lee will try her best to help me :)

Anyway, I'm trying my best not to care about this issue anymore, but when i actually start talking to you, i do expect a reply. It isn't demanding, just basic manners. I would be lying if i said I'm totally unaffected, but I'm trying to close my mind to it alr. So please... spare me the pain of not getting a simple reply.

Another thing i would like to share with you guys is the fact that i actually hate last minute plans or change of plans. Like, hello, if you want to meet up tomorrow, decide at least one day earlier? And when the plan is set don't change it like the night before? It's quite annoying and frustrating having other people to accommodate to your schedule, no? UGH

So today was a rather eventful day!
1) Racial Harmony Day - dressed in punjabi costume!!!

2) SUPPOSEDLY econs project - stressed out last night about the presentation and forgone doing tutorials, only to face with internet problems and had to postpone. Nobody's fault but still irritated.

3) SUPPOSEDLY (again) interview with the Thaipan boss for PW. Left early from dance and rushed down to GO thinking i was late, only to find NOBODY there and only when i checked my phone i see the message saying he won't be here today.

4) Dance training was still da bestttt. Always enjoy training with girls like Sam, Eve and JieYing so much!!! :)

5) Went out for lunch @ ban mian place! Kena scolding for bringing bubble tea in, got insulted for our "uselessness of studying" because we "can't even read the sign". oh wow.

6) On the bus back, got ridiculously accused and lashed by this stupid old man that apparently thought i was a foreigner from India or somewhere. Started saying things like "stupid la you come Singapore for what", "you clever you won't come Singapore, let people look down on you", "you want die also die back in your country don't die in Singapore", "go back to your country la", and then it gets worse, and he began starting saying crude stuff like "faster go and die la you" and "suck my cock".
LIKE HELLO OLD UNCLE DON'T BE SO GROSS CAN. Your private part is like what, probably dysfunctional already and it's not like anybody want to even look at it, let alone "suck" it. A MILLION YUCKS. MADE ME SO PISSED I ALMOST WANTED TO CRY AND PUNCH HIM.
Hello stupid old uncle, doesn't mean you're old means you have the right to scold foreigners ok, and its not like I'm a foreigner hello. Im 100% Singaporean. Time to get your eyes checked up la. You're just lucky i didn't take a picture of you. I will sure STOMP you and report you to the police. It is clear that you're trying to provoke racial disorder and this threatens our country's social cohesion. You're a threat to our society.

UGH. okay enough of those shit.

I'm getting really sick of life nowadays. The people i care about doesn't seem to care about me as much as i want them to, and that sucks. Who knows, they probably don't care at all. yeah.

Well, i don't really want to continue anymore. Mood is shitty now.

I really hate being told what to do - what i should wear, how i should behave and talk. Especially from you. You used to be my only form of escape from all these crap, and now you're turning into one? So who do i turn to now?? Sigh... Doubt you'll ever understand.

Expecting a lonely yet wonderful day tomorrow. Love saturdays. Oh, plus Mummy's birthday tmr!!! :D

Pressure.

17th post.

Hey guys :) will be posting more often from now on cause... i want to document every single thing that happened in my life so it will be much more memorable next time!

Will try to put some pictures here, haha! Too wordy and boring, i know. But well, this is me. Will post some of the pictures I've taken so far as a "beginner photographer" haha (self-proclaimed).

Anw, my titles will almost always be a general word of what i will be blogging about!

So.... Pressure.

Something I've been feeling quite a lot recently, be it academically (most important as of now), relationship-wise, friendship-wise, and emotionally and spiritually.

I mean, after the first exam in school, it only reveals the "smart" and the "smarter", leaving behind the others who will feel inferior and all. Well, I've been at the bottom before, and the top too. But coming up to JC, everything changes. I wonder, though, if this is because of the capabilities of the certain subject departments, or just me being stupid/ not hardworking enough.

I didn't do very badly, but i can't say I'm pleased with my results either - in fact, pretty disappointed. (not to offend anyone or show off here, but there's nothing to show off about, really) Just very average. In the middle. Insignificant.

Nobody notices you unless you're at the very top, or the very bottom. Top students enjoy stretching lessons to stretch their potential, and weaker students enjoy concentrated remedial lessons. So what do we "middle tons" get? Nothing but the silent expectation to work hard by ourselves.

Sigh... But life's like that, isn't it?

Just have to work hard for yourself and not anyone else. No one is there to motivate you except yourself. Ultimate goal, have to reach it yourself.

So it's your own race to run after all, so might as well do it with the best you have.

Scholars, muggers, prodigies. Well, these three types of people seem to be everywhere. Pressurising much?

Scholars - they are smart and probably knows more syllabus than we do. And somehow, the information seem to always stay in their head. Like i always jokingly say, "aiya, the information all in their hard disk liao, loaded into the brain already!" Cannot deny.

Muggers - these people are seen everywhere with a book. Or maybe they're just sitting there stoning, but God knows what is going through their mind man. The latest lecture on gravitation? The many equations in AP, GP? The definitions and concepts of monopoly, oligopoly? or how to draw the bonding of the organic molecules?? In short, they are normal intelligence with scary determination. (which works as well)

Prodigies - these are the smart-asses who just don't carry the "scholar" label. Practically the same as scholars, just that they have a slower processor comparatively, maybe? Speed of information download can be very fast though.

Well, above are the three greatest source of pressures to me (right now). I don't really think about it all the time though.

I hope i use the pressure effectively and positively though :)

Well, thanks all of you guys for reading (if you are) and have a good year ahead. For my dear friends in JC1, work your best for promos!!! It's gonna be worth it!!! :)

"STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS!"

Invisible?

16th post.

Invisible. Yeah, that's what I've been feeling these days. No better word to describe it.

Amidst all the negativity, i found that i actually do have a friend that cares about me. You know who you are. I wanna thank you a lot for giving me such encouraging words and i teared looking at the mail you sent. I'm truly touched and so glad i have a friend like you. I may not be the best at expressing myself and all, but just... Thanks :) At least i know someone is there.

Then again, maybe everyone's been there all along, just that I'm to preoccupied about myself and my problems and how i think that the world will be better without me around that... i chose not to believe it anymore.

Well, only time will tell.

Y'know, I've been thinking lately about the term "best friend". I really miss those days when i actually had a best friend. Just stick around all day and mess with each other and laugh like crazy, and we didn't need to worry if we would offend each other because, well we know we're just kidding. And then when rough times hit, you could share anything and everything with her and sometimes try to figure out ways to solve them together.

Yeah, i miss that...

For now, although i don't have a "best friend", i do have my girls, who i know will always be there for me and i love them. I have my boy, who sometimes can be my best friend but y'know, what happens when you have boyfriend problems?

Once, when my emotions hit rock bottom, i'd feel so depressed about myself just because everyone has a best friend except me. But i guess mine will soon appear in my life and accompany throughout the rest of my life.

I can wish, right?

PMS?

15th post.

PMS for pre menstrual syndrome, or PMS for post midyears sadness??

Hi guysss. Almost all the midyears results have been given back, and i can't say I'm happy or sad... Hmm, well, at least i didn't fail :) Thank God for that.

Anyway, the past week or so has been damn horrible for me. Cant even tell if it's plain over thinking or it's actually damned real. I don't like this one bit. JC really makes me feel so lonesome and companionless even with so many people around... Of course i'm thankful for my friends, but recently i just feel like... maybe i don't really have anyone who truly cares about me.

Well okay, enough of the negativity. On the bright side, i think I'm finally going to get rid of that cui-max laptop of mine. GUYS PLEASE DO NOT EVER BUY DELL LAPTOPS. Hope to get a new one soon, cause this burden PW is bugging me to complete it every single day -_-. Okay fine, I'm actually supposed to do my EOM now but i really have no more ideas to generate yo. :( PW KILLS BRAIN CELLS.

After spending the day "detached from the world", or so some classmate said, i feel like I'm actually fine being alone in school. Of course i feel miserable and lonely and all, but at least it's just myself, i don't have to handle any questions. Call me selfish, but i don't really like to tell people my stuff, but i like to hear people tell me their stuff.

Haven't been okay with being alone before, especially in secondary school. So this is rather new for me i guess? But well, being alone saves people from the burden i impose on them, so all's good.

Have been thinking much lately about bucking up for my academics, yet wanting to give up jc life so bad. SIGH. Well, i guess since i took this road i should just push on huh? Need to catch up on my lectures and tutorials that are long overdue (since dance concert finished).

Only thing that keeps me going is the fact that i still have my boy and my girls with me. Thanks all of you <3 I know i haven't been very happy of late, but i will be better soon! Don't worry so much! :)

One last thing - do i really look very cheerful and positive, as if nothing can bring me down?

Cause, obviously, that's far from true. Yet people keep telling me that.

I guess that's one good thing about me?

Wrong timing.

14th post.

Sick at the wrong timing... I cannot even make up my mind as to whether i should go to school or not. Lectures. Tutorials. Ugh.

Feeling so groggy now yet stuck in school. Really want to go home and sleep right now instead of watching something i don't want to see. -_-

Time, please pass by as soon as possible.

disappointment?

13th post.

Hey guys! Been so long since i update huh? Haha, too busy during dance concert and midyears and other times i'm just plain lazy heh. Stupid laptop's not helping by throwing tantrums and refusing to boot up either. HMPH.

Anyway, there were too many things that happened recently i don't even know where to start... I guess most recently and importantly will be the midyear results? I can't say i'm happy with the results, yet i guess i should accept it rather than wallow in disappointment? :( I guess i just didn't try hard enough? But honestly, even looking at the physics or maths paper now, i prolly still cannot solve the damned qns -_- The good thing is, however, that i actually passed all subjects given back! :D (phy and math)

Kinda worried for chemistry and econs though... Chemistry is supposedly my best subject, but the paper was horrendous - practically the WORST paper i've done in my entire life man... No joke. Economics... well, it's a new subject and honestly i have no idea what i'm required to write in my answers... so i guess i can only pray? I feel quite good about my answers though, just maybe the evaluation?? Well, time shall tell.

Maybe i can be said to hold high expectations for myself when it comes to studies, but it's only because everyone else has higher expectations of me... Daddy, Mummy, maybe amah or even my brother... distant relatives - needless to say. I guess they're all expecting me to do them proud by bringing straight A's back. But i've never been that good actually. PSLE excluded cause i didn't really study much and most people around me now (in jc) are like higher performers than i am in PSLE, so that cannot be an accurate measure of intelligence, right?

Every single time, i would hear my teachers say things like, "Belinda, i'm sure you can do much better than this." "Belinda, i was expecting a much better result from you." or "Belinda, i thought you could get an A for me". Is it really because i didn't work hard enough every time? Such that i let down my teacher's expectations of me? I really don't wanna disappoint any of them... Especially the teachers i like. That was how my higher chinese grades jumped from a usual C5/C6 to an A1/A2.

Well, enough ranting here. I guess i just need to pull up my socks and step up my game now... Shit just got real yo. About 3 more months to promos and a year and a half to As.

Go Belinda.
Go guys :)

Oh yeah! One last thing. This first official week of starting school (excluding exam week) was really awesome with guys like chewy, xiaoqi, kee and nua around :D JC life is really much much much more bearable with you guys around. So thankful for you guys :) A week of laughter, smiles and fun!

To my dear girls too, although i may be pointy and always poking fun or criticising you guys with my sarcastic tone, i don't really mean it - and even when i do, it's for the better of you guys. I'm sorry i can be so kns sometimes but i really love you guys and appreciate all of you for all the love and support :) hope we really can go overseas tgt one day! <3 <-- i think must wait until adult liao lor. hahaha

To my dearest boy, thank you for tolerating me and my nonsense for so long and not complaining (ok la occasionally). You are da best and yep, i love you <3

Social awkwardness

12th post.

Hey guys!!! Been missing in action for quite a while now... can only blame it on the tedious and dreary term 2 :( 

Term 2 is really no joke, with all the tests (prolly hurling our way soon), competitions, concerts, homework, tutorials, PW and more... Amongst the need to juggle between school work and dance, i still have to face the sky high expectations of the people around me, esp my family.

Ironic, huh? Family will always be there for you, they said. Family members can always understand, they said... Yeah, right. The only people i can feel comfortable being myself with (laugh, cry and do whatever i want) are prolly only da girls and wb. Pathetic enough, i realised not long ago i honestly have no one to talk to in school... like anything deeper into myself than academics and what i think about people, there is simply no one there to listen. I mean, everyone can HEAR, but not everyone LISTENS.

Dance has been pretty taxing, but i count myself lucky already, since many of the seniors and the IPs, DSAs have to prepare for both the concert and the competition, which denotes back-to-back training sessions almost everyday of the week (mon to sat)... All i can say is... respect! and i do wish VJ Dance the very best!!! ^_^ We're gonna rock da house yo!!!

PW is a total killer... Omgosh don't even get me started on how our tutor gets on my nerves so bad... She practically scolded us for nothing when telling us how "well" our seniors did for PW last year, totally makes sense huh. Anw, just hope my group will be awesome so we can pull through this despite the crappiness! :D

Anw, i'm not sure if i'm the only one who experiences this, but every time after a holiday or some time without interacting with people (eg classmates) i feel so detached and socially awkward toward them... Hmm well... i guess it's just me haha! I hope no one in the class dislikes me and is secretly praying not to be in the same group as me for PW cause that will totally crush my little pathetic ego :(

Sigh... overall, today hasn't been a good day :(

On a happier note, i'm ordering veganburg from the school for thursday!!! It's like discounted in commemoration of earth week so yayyy! Feels so blessed! :) Worth the money la! How many times do you actually get to eat vegetarian fast food and have it delivered right to school?! :D

Ok i'm totally looking forward to it!!!

YUMYUM TIME.

Even the strongest fall down.

11th post.

Hey guys!

Couple of updates for ya! Good news AND bad news... :) Okay here goes!

1) Good news - WE PASSED THE MUSICFEST AUDITIONS!!!! Yayyyyy! Kind of unexpected though, cause we were really nervous and shaking and all; even screwed up the bridge part :( Anyhow, we still got in!!! :D

2) Bad news - unfortunately none of the non-IPs / non-DSAs qualify to go for the Moscow trip... :( kind of saddening, but it's okay! This only means we have more time to prepare and really perfect our items for the dance concert! :) and save money also hahaha, although that's not the main point ~

Sigh... but apparently my feelings are screwed up now (a concoction of both happiness and upset and pissed off) due to something that happened. URGH. It's always like this, i always seem to be the only one excited about everything and the one to get disappointed at the end of the day... -BIG SIGH-

Anw, on a happier note, the March holidays are here!! Time to sit back, sleep in, and relax / slack a bit before school reopens again! I hope it will be more of a light and refreshing break rather than a tightly scheduled with dance break... i will literally look like =_= everyday, no joke!!!

It's also a good time to catch up with secondary friends who are really starting to get so stressed up and busy they no longer have leisure time for themselves :'( Sometimes i really miss secondary school life - at least we knew every single thing we had to do / were doing so we wouldn't live with constant "huh?"s popping up in our minds. Everything was also so familiar we felt comfortable anyhow we are. Now, things have just became too complicated and complex to comprehend fully within a short time; especially the people. Some people seem really hostile and such, but they're actually really nice people! On the contrary, some OTHER people seem really nice initially, but turn out to be just friggin' idiots who act nice and smart and all... URGH TAK BOLEH TAHAN!!!

Anw, i'm really missing the after-o-levels period also... We had all the time together and all the things we could do together. Did you regret not spending more time with me?

Cause i do. I really do miss the times we just aimlessly walk around enjoying the time with each other. Now we can barely enjoy the meagre time we have together, either because we're too tired or not in the right mood.

JC is really sucking all the chi from me. Achievement unlocked: first time falling asleep in school - during physics lecture by the most boring lecturer of the century.

NOT PROUD. I JUST GAVE IN CAUSE IT WAS TOO BORING AND POINTLESS.

Some things just cannot be recovered...

10th post.

Hey guys... Feelin' like crap now, mostly because of my lost phone which i really liked and of course, it wasn't very cheap at all. I really like it and it was so wonderful until this happened. And it's like i've lost another phone before, only last year...

People will prolly start thinking "Aiyo why she so careless? Must be that she don't take care properly la" and "walao lost so many phones alr, i've never lost even one lor" kind of thing but seriously, keep your comments to yourselves. No matter how much attention i've directed to keeping my valuables properly, they somehow end up leaving me, no kidding. I've lost more than 4 wallets, and 3 phones in my whole life. It's not that i don't take good care of them, perhaps every time it's god trying to make me learn from it?

But still, if he truly loves us and all, why must we live this so-called Life when all it does is hurt us? Why must we grow attachment for things we own? Why must separation be inevitable? Why can't we just live and never die or never leave the people around us? Why must people grow so cold and heartless? Where has kindness gone in humanity??

Sigh... Been thinking through these questions ever since i lost my phone and... i really miss it. i can't say i will forgive the person or whosoever who took it, but i'm just gonna let karma fuck them up. I really cannot stand people like this. TWO TIMES ALREADY OK. URGH. WAIT TILL IT HAPPENS TO YOU, SEE HOW HAPPY YOU'LL GET.

On a lighter note, school's been.... marginally fine for me! Had physics test and econs test, which i have only like 25% confidence in for econs!!! HAHAHA, fail much...

Anyway, i'm gonna go back on diet again! :)

Wish me luck people!

When everything sets in...

9th post.

Hey guys! The stress and everything is really starting to kick in... I can't say it's to that level where i cannot take it anymore, but it is at this level where i'm starting to feel threatened by everyone around me - classmates, scholars, friends, etc. I even  feel guilty if i play a game or two during breaks between lessons... URGH WHERE IS DA FUN LOVING ME HUH.

Anw, dance competition heat is also growing stronger, so like.. i'm feeling so inferior cause all of them are so good while i'm like a noob compared to them :( I hope i will get to go to Moscow thoughhhh, i mean, it will be a really good experience and exposure for me! (given that i haven't really gotten to know anything much related to dance...)

Tutorials, tutorials, tutorials. They're like haunting me every single day... I try to put my work on like tuesdays, thursdays and weekends cause mondays wednesdays and fridays i'm practically drained of energy after dance training. Crunches for continuous 5 songs and drills ditto as well as progressions every training is seriously no joke...

Went back to zh last friday and talked to a few teachers. Felt so nostalgic... I really miss those days where we  didn't have to worry so much. Not even referring to sec sch but rather when we were young and all we worried about was food and where our parents were...

It all seems too fast, this growing up thing. And who knows, in a blink of an eye we would be walking down the church aisle, watching our babies at the hospital infant care, sending our children to school, etc etc...

Why must we go through this thing called Life when all we do is get hurt?
Why must we feel attachment to something after having it?
Why must we have things we can't have and overlook things we already have?
Why do we all need love?
Why?

A whole new world.

8th post.

Hi guyssss havent been posting due to tiring schooooool haha! Even orientation was tiring enough man..... Gawd...

Anyway, orientation was AWESOME! Avatar for the win! And A6 is full of wonderful people so..... HUGS FOR EVERYBARDEH <3

12S62 is also super awesome beyond words haha so.... MORE HUGS HEHE <3 Have really nothing much to say, but i can confidently confess that the stress and fatigue is really kicking in man.... Already feelin the heat of JC stress and even CCA haha...

Ok now for some shocking news!!!
I'M IN DANCE CLUB HAHHAHAHAA. OMG UNBELIEVABLE HUH! :p

Haha! ok i've been told i look more of a sports person, so many people really found it shocking or hard to believe! LOL. Well, dance is kind of stressful and all though, physically demanding for sure. But i like it, i really like it :)

We're going to Moscow for competition this April so i'm quite excited hehehe :3
Anw V day is around the cornerrrrrr and it's Frienship day in school! So i'm super excited hehehe! :D

Okay gonna update soon haha! Hope i get my laptop soonnnnnn it's so stupid coming to my bro's room to use com... Kills any "i want to study woohoo" mood >:(

KK BYE GUYS <3

Milestones.

7th post.

Hey guyyyyyys, second post of the day!

In contrary to the last post, this shall be much happier in mood! ^^
Well, mood what shittened due to some incident just now but feeling better now! But the aftermath ain't pretty at all.... No joke man.

Anyway, posting results are supposed to be out next Monday and we are starting school next Tuesday!!! :) I've got my new school bag and school shoes!!! I LOVE 'EM SO MUCHHHHH :3

 DAMN CHIO BAG!!!! Cheaper than Dickies after discount!!! :)

WOOHOO WOOHOO CHIO CONVERSE SHOES <3

HEHE, so i guess now i just have to buy a new pencil case? If i find a suitable one, that is. Heh, rather excited for schooooool! I mean, there's lots of new and unknown stuff awaiting ~~~ I pray and pray and pray and hope and hope and hope that i get into Victoria with WB plz plz plz plz plzzzzzzz.

Pweety please? :)

Anyway Wb's gone to Genting since Sunday and finally coming back tonight!!! :) Yayyyyyyy! <3

Ok I'm gone again! Stay tuned! :)

Safe and sound.

6th post.

Hey guys, here are some overdue pictures!

On results day!

 

Well, i think our clique has gone through pretty much ups and downs huh... I guess that's what brought us closer, right? :)

However, all good things eventually come to an end, and we are going our separate ways soon. I really do hope we will still be friends though, like those really can talk about nothing all day or even those deep heart-to-heart conversations... Attend each other's weddings, become the "Godma" of each other's kids, gatherings every now and then... It would be really nice :)

Well. I have nothing much to say now given my current shitty mood so.... stick around and i'll post again soon!

On a lighter note, 新年快乐 everybody!!! :D

Fun in the sun!

5th post

Hey guys! This will be a majorly pictures post! hehe :) Enjoy!

Yesterday we went out again! To shop and to collect stuffs! :)

 Ok i look like i'm balding lol..... :((

In Hotel Michael! :)

Smiley picture :D

LOL these hilarious statues at Hotel Michael...

and YAY my diary is here!!! :D

 Beautiful right.... :) It's gonna accompany me throughout the year! :D

  BOUGHT NEW SKIPPING ROPE HEEHEE

Anyway, today the girls and I went for a swim! (except Emz cause she ain't free :( ) Was fun fun fun! :D

HAHAHA jx looks like 贞子！！！

印度人！！！

疯女人！！！

好啦差不多就这样了 ：）

好久没好好用华文说话 / 写字了哦... 

不想我的华文就这么死掉嘢...

呵呵 好啦下次就来个完全华文的 post 好了！

等着瞧哦！！！

The harsh truth.

4th post.

Yo people. Wanted to blog a few days ago when the results came out but haven't got on the com yet :(
So here i am! :D Currently @ wb's house and we have officially submitted our JAE choices!!! :D

Yep, so this is it! Kinda excited yet at the same time afraid of what the future holds.... yknow?

Haha yep, we're getting new school bags btw, and hopefully it will arrive soon :)

Guess we are officially going our separate ways in life alr, huh? So quick right, how time passes so fast really scares the heck outta me... Imagine, four years later and we're 21 alr, holding our key to freedom and to the rest of our lives.... Gosh, i can't say i'm ready for that alr... :(

Recently i also realised.... i actually only have the few friends that are pretty close. I only have one clique and those four friends to rely on and.... Now we're probably not even going to the same school and all. Sigh, i feel really insignificant, to any of my friends actually. I mean, they all have their other friends and i'm probably only considered "one of them" among their many other friends... And to be honest, i hate this feeling. I used to be over-possessive over my so-called "best friend" 'cause i would put ALL of my energy and attention onto her and her only, and yknow, when someone important to you doesn't treat you the same way as you would expect them to, you get disappointed - and that is, for me, most of the time.

Well, i've come to learn that that should not be the way and you should give without much expectation at all so that life is much easier for all parties. But at this important juncture in life, i suddenly feel a surge of sadness and pity cause i don't have any good friends i can share the rest of my life with, honestly. Perhaps it's the way i treat people? But no matter what, i know i treat everybody with all of my heart and soul, and when i care, i really do care. And of course, when i don't, i really don't give a shit.

So yeah... to the four of you, i just wanna let you guys know that i really do appreciate you in my life, although there are times that we really cannot stand each other or anything, i hope you guys still know that i will be here for you no matter what and my arms and ears are always open for ya! :) I really do hope we can be friends for life and like be each other's mates for a long longgggg time. May not say this often but, i love you four <3

To other friends who were once close or are still close, i want to tell you guys this:
Thank you to everyone of you for stepping into my life and making it much happier and greater than before. You guys have made me into who i am now, and even if there are/were grudges at all, i do not regret any because they brought us to where we are now. I hope we can still see each other next time and maybe say "hi" or smth hehe. Thank you once again!

Okay this is a long-winded sentimental post due to overwhelming emotions these few days (&^%^%#$(&*

Haha ok, will be posting soon again! Watch out! -winks-

How long can happiness last?

3rd post.

Hi guys!!! Nothing much to say today, so I'll just be sharing with you guys my thoughts and feelings now :)

Today was pretty sweet, wb came over again and we watched Crazy, Stupid Love together :D Well it was quite crazy and very much stupid, but I still liked it ~

Tomorrow I'll finally be getting my hands on my new SII baby!!!! EXCITED UNTIL I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE RAHHHHHH

Sunday we'll be going out to the beach for some fun in the sun ~

Monday comes the doomsday then..... OMG and the suspense is KILLING ME....... It's almost as if.... it either marks the start of a new awesome life, or the end of your 10 years of hard work..... The thought of it is just so grim and depressing, yet the suspense could mean ANYTHING!!!!!! ARGHH!!!!! :(

Well, guess we just have to wait and see, right? :)

Good luck though, everybardee! :D

Tantalising aromas.

2nd post.

Hey guys!

I think I fell sick today :( I mean technically since last night, but still... Nevertheless, a wonderful day with wb! <3 HEHE. Spent the whole day whipping up yummy stuff... (Mmmm~)

First we made fried potato balls! Wb's second attempt, my first! Cooperation is key because, it really takes a LOT of time.... Didn't turn out pretty, but still yummy!!! :D

Then we made and prepared yam cake! Really first attempt and super stressed out cause it's like 216549875212331685135213 times harder than baking a cake. No kidding, man. But it turned out pretty well! :D Kudos! I love it!!! It is a little soft, but the taste is *muah*! Maybe I'll just give it a toss or two on the pan tmr morning and it is good to go! :D

HEHE, now for the countdown to upcoming events!
2 days to new phone!!!
3 days to the AWESOME 4E1 OUTING!
4 days to the new beginning / doomsday!
18 days to CNY! :D

Ok that's about as far as i would like to go, haha...

Well that's all for today folks!
Have fun tmr! (It's Friday, Friday ~)

A new chapter in life.

1st post.

Hi guys! Decided to go back to blogging since I realised it is a good way of keeping track of daily life and activities and it won't make you lose track of time so easily. I'm also going to do daily reflections here so i actually KNOW what i am doing!

Well, life's been pretty damn good after O's and well... here's brief highlights to what I have been doing!

1) Right after O's: 4E1 Class chalet @ NSRCC! Awesome company and fun times :)
2) Went on job hunt for a week or two after that haha! Failed to get employed, but at least I have loads of time to relax and enjoy before school starts!
3) Random programs here and there - fotang events, outings with the zabors, lessons, blah blah blah ~
4) Every Tuesday and Thursday preciously spent with WB <3
5) Camera lessons with Uncle Huat every now and then - fruitful indeed!
6) Christmas and New Year countdowns with childhood friends! :D
7) Other times spent doing my blogshop, watching tv, packing up my room and so on......

Well, pretty interesting huh! (sigh who am I kidding...)

Haha, well, results are coming out next Monday, so I guess we are only left with this meagre amount of time to enjoy before we start stressing out over academics again.... Oh my....

Oh well! Mixed feelings - excited yet afraid... Excited because it marks the beginning of the rest of my life, but afraid because it might just have "the rest of my life screwed". Dang the irony >:(

Okay, pictures time! Bits and pieces from my awesome yet not-so-awesome holiday!

The only pic we took @ class chalet :(

@ Orchard shopping! :D

Otw to Marina Barrage! :D

Dinner @ Mad Jack! (RIPOFF, HIGHLY UNRECOMMEND)

Day out to Punggol End! :D

On Christmas Day! <3

Okay, fine. Most of my pictures are of me and wb but other than that I hardly go out or hardly take any pictures!!!

Heh, oh well, it's back to reality soon I guess?
Off to pack up my room now!!! IN A BLOODY MESS NO KIDDING....