disappointment?

13th post.

Hey guys! Been so long since i update huh? Haha, too busy during dance concert and midyears and other times i'm just plain lazy heh. Stupid laptop's not helping by throwing tantrums and refusing to boot up either. HMPH.

Anyway, there were too many things that happened recently i don't even know where to start... I guess most recently and importantly will be the midyear results? I can't say i'm happy with the results, yet i guess i should accept it rather than wallow in disappointment? :( I guess i just didn't try hard enough? But honestly, even looking at the physics or maths paper now, i prolly still cannot solve the damned qns -_- The good thing is, however, that i actually passed all subjects given back! :D (phy and math)

Kinda worried for chemistry and econs though... Chemistry is supposedly my best subject, but the paper was horrendous - practically the WORST paper i've done in my entire life man... No joke. Economics... well, it's a new subject and honestly i have no idea what i'm required to write in my answers... so i guess i can only pray? I feel quite good about my answers though, just maybe the evaluation?? Well, time shall tell.

Maybe i can be said to hold high expectations for myself when it comes to studies, but it's only because everyone else has higher expectations of me... Daddy, Mummy, maybe amah or even my brother... distant relatives - needless to say. I guess they're all expecting me to do them proud by bringing straight A's back. But i've never been that good actually. PSLE excluded cause i didn't really study much and most people around me now (in jc) are like higher performers than i am in PSLE, so that cannot be an accurate measure of intelligence, right?

Every single time, i would hear my teachers say things like, "Belinda, i'm sure you can do much better than this." "Belinda, i was expecting a much better result from you." or "Belinda, i thought you could get an A for me". Is it really because i didn't work hard enough every time? Such that i let down my teacher's expectations of me? I really don't wanna disappoint any of them... Especially the teachers i like. That was how my higher chinese grades jumped from a usual C5/C6 to an A1/A2.

Well, enough ranting here. I guess i just need to pull up my socks and step up my game now... Shit just got real yo. About 3 more months to promos and a year and a half to As.

Go Belinda.
Go guys :)

Oh yeah! One last thing. This first official week of starting school (excluding exam week) was really awesome with guys like chewy, xiaoqi, kee and nua around :D JC life is really much much much more bearable with you guys around. So thankful for you guys :) A week of laughter, smiles and fun!

To my dear girls too, although i may be pointy and always poking fun or criticising you guys with my sarcastic tone, i don't really mean it - and even when i do, it's for the better of you guys. I'm sorry i can be so kns sometimes but i really love you guys and appreciate all of you for all the love and support :) hope we really can go overseas tgt one day! <3 <-- i think must wait until adult liao lor. hahaha

To my dearest boy, thank you for tolerating me and my nonsense for so long and not complaining (ok la occasionally). You are da best and yep, i love you <3